FEGCO Chronicles2- Dining Hall Episode

Honestly, if we ever talk about Federal Government College Ogbomoso and we don’t get to talk about the food aspect, the ‘gist’ just isn’t complete. The dining hall experience is one memory that I’ll forever relish whenever I think of my alma mater, Federal Government College, Ogbomoso.
                                         * * * * * * * *
I remember vividly, how guys gathered in front of a well right opposite unity house junior boys hostel. This gathering came up usually on weekends,( reason being that most students, on weekdays, go for breakfast from their hostels in the morning before heading to class, then from class to lunch and from wherever to dinner) usually when it’s about 30 mins. or even 1 hour to food time. You just find guys seated there and talking about some random stuffs (For dem mind!). Virtually everyone gathered at that rendezvous had something in common- to get to the dining hall on time so there would be the possibility of enough ‘claiming’ (a slang we used for abundant meals) or better still, be among the first four on the table (the first four on the table were usually the lucky ones). Most of those times, I also found myself in that discussion group but trust me, I just wanted to while away time(yeah just like every other person in the gathering), my mind was always far away from there. All I just wanted to hear was the bell for food (someone is laffn abi- like say no be wetn dey ur own mind sef dah tym). Now this well also became a meeting point for some set of guys. Those were the self-acclaimed big boys that had vowed never to step their feet into the dining hall (O.B.Os of life!). Now these ones would be waiting for other students to leave the dining hall (they did this on days when students ate meals which they were able to ‘smuggle’ out of the dining hall to take to their hostels e.g. bread, moi-moi et.al.). Once students are seen leaving the dining hall, they swing into action and they begin approaching students who have been able to smuggle some food out of the dining hall, for a 'share of the spoils'. You’ll hear them say “abeg make I carry one bite na” (patent folly! LOL)

I remember vividly the ‘delicacies’ we were served back in FEGO city. Talk of the BEANS, something I choose to call a pot of murky water with some unfortunate grains of beans drowning beneath it. You really had to stir well to bring the whole thing to life. I remember well how weevils turned the pots of beans to their Jacuzzi (cos you’ll definitely find them chilling on the surface), and one guy in my house then, whom we referred to as prof., would say, “but seriously, these things are very proteinous in nature (Says who? Sufferhead!!!) I also remember the TEA we were served, a mixture of hot water, smoke and sugar (did I really drink that? Yuck!). For those who had the opportunity to serve soup/stew (especially the days we ate meat!), they stirred and stirred! One would actually think they were stirring so well so that the oil, pepper and water (which apparently were ‘beefing’ one another- cos they chose to stay away from one other) could unite for the sake of the students. NO! Na lie! They did so to catch a glimpse of the bigger meats in the pot of soup. Once they see a big meat, you’ll be surprised at the speed they stop the stirring which I honestly think isn’t up to a split second! (FEGO Peeps! I hail thee!)

There were some days when I really wished we were just 2 or 3 on a single pot and not more than 5 or 6 on a double (omo, enough claiming!) You however get disappointed most times. You’re already seated there; thinking guys aren’t coming for food on this day (and praying seriously in your heart that they shouldn’t come!) The next thing is that you take a look outside of the window, what do you see? AN ARMY OF FEMALE STUDENTS COMING OUT EN MASSE FROM THEIR HOSTELS! (Baddest market ever liveth!) You know, I just wonder if those girls held meetings before they come for food. In a flash, you realise you’re about 12 on a single pot and about 22 on a double pot! (the plates neatly lined up in 2 rows- just like we have when two teams are filing out for a football match) Ok! One of the prefects asks everyone to stand up for prayers “For the food we’re about to eat we…” just as he/she tries to complete the prayer, the food, master interrupts. “who asked you to pray? Can’t you see students are still coming? Will you be the one to give them food?” The prefect looks motionless, not knowing which of the questions to answer first. Before you know it, you're already about 14 on a single pot and 25 on a double! Take a look at everyone’s face that time, you’ll actually think the death of a prominent person had just been announced (My bad!)

Now, for each house, we had some guys who some of us referred to as ‘strikers' and ‘supporting strikers’. I think I’d love to use the term ‘Warlords’ for them. Yeah! I think WarLords is just perfect because you find them in the frontline always while hundreds of students followed their trail (U wanna call them trailblazers too? Na you sabi o).

TUNDE OGUNSANYA a.k.a. BAGGY STUFF! I actually shouldn’t have started a new paragraph but this guy deserves it- RESPECT! Aswear down! If this guy didn’t serve food at any point in our senior secondary school days, honestly he chose not to. See! Even if you happen to be at the entrance of the dining hall when the bell for food rang, you just walk in, you’ll find Baggy Stuff already seated comfortably behind the pot of Rice, Eba, Amala et.al. If I were to read his mind then, he’ll probably be like “fuck soup/stew! Na that one go belleful person?” The next person that comes to mind after baggy stuff is BIGGY (can’t remember his real names). This is another Warlord! A great commander of the pots! The only time biggy wouldn’t get to serve would be when the school is on holiday! I’m not surprised about these 2 anyways, they were probably twins in the previous world, the nicknames say a lot, BIGGY AND BAGGY! (is someone already thinking of naming his/her twins that?) I honestly won’t be fair if I don’t mention the last warlord for unity house. Guys, I hope you won’t be surprised if I tell you this warlord is a SHE? Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for… (ok! I honestly think she deserves to have a paragraph all to herself)

OTITE COURAGE! If I call her Hercules (supposed son of the greek god, zeus), I might not be totally right but I’ll be sure close to it- Fast, Energetic, Muscular, Ambidextrous (yeah! Cos she can handle the pot of food and soup/stew @ d same time and pace!) I will never forget the day I was opportuned to serve soup on a wonderful Saturday afternoon. While serving, she wasn’t just comfortable with the way I was serving the soup. She gave me this very stern look, “come! Serve that thing well o. I don’t want to hear that soup isn’t enough ooo. If you cannot serve, give someone that can ooo ehn ehn!” I sensed threat and trouble in that very short but highly pregnant sentence of hers. Been that very skinny and frail looking guy back then(and still is), I imagined myself and her in a combat in just about 5 seconds. As soon as I came back to reality, ‘peace talks’ was the only thing that could come to mind readily (yeah peace talks! LOL) With a well composed grin, I said to her, “well if you know you can serve it better, come and take over”. Need I say more? She gladly accepted the offer! I sat down, blessed my food, ate my food quietly, everyone did the same, lunch was over, everyone went to their hostels and no one was hurt!

FEGCO Chronicles1 (Pen-Pal Episode)

On this day, I remember how back then in FGC Ogbomoso, guys had pen-pals from other Unity schools (something peculiar to teenagers of our days. Sadly, it has become history. No thanks to social media). It was really a trend, most especially among the 'happening' guys. I remember vividly, how some guys got up to about 5 letters from other schools on inter-house sports days, obviously sent through the schools' athletes (courier of life!). I remember how peeps, most likely the ones in your clique would rally round to read the letter(s) one of 'em got. Dia's dis particular guy in my house, he got up to abt 7 some time n was rly feeling cool, me I was jst like "wahs doing dis one sef? I wonder wetn gals de see for dis one body sef, wt hin big head!" (Did I hear sm1 mention a name? LOL)

Ok fast forward, there was this time I got a letter from one babe from FGGC Ipetumodu, yeah I got one too! The only one I got throughout my stay in FGC(hihihihihihihihihi). I remember she was like a family friend to one of my friends back in school, so while gisting about her one time like that, I just took interest in her and decided to write her.
"Who is Tunde Adetutu?" , Bolu Obembe came into my room asking, my heart almost jumped outta mouth cos the only thing that could come to my head was "yeeepa! I don enta kwanta!". 'Kwanta' is synonymous to trouble, gbege, yawa, gobe (I trust my FGC hommies not to forget this).
"You have a Letter frm FGGC Ipetumodu", Bolu said. Trust me, it was as if the whole of Olumo rock was lifted off ma mind.
"But who could it be?", I wondered after I had gotten back ma normal self (trust me! You can't be at peace at the thought of having trouble with some Seniors).

Almost immediately, I flipped open the letter! Lo and behold! It was that babe me and my friend talked about! After reading the letter, I felt dragon-flies fluttering in ma belly! (Yeah dragon flies! There's this thing abt them which I can't explain biko). I can't remember how many times I read that letter but trust me, It wouldn't have been less than a million times that day! (You blame me?). For real, everything about me that day made me feel like I was in one wonderland! My rusted bunk seemed like pure gold to me. My tattered mattress (not mine tho' but a senior chose to 'abachise' my wonderful mouka foam. My bad!) was just like a mattress dat even d president wouldn't afford! My garri infested locker felt lik a treasure box! (Cos I rememba how I folded the letter neatly and kept in one of my textbooks, one book I didn't get to open throughout ma stay in FGC!) Wait! did I forget to mention what the letter was all about? Well it was simply 'hello Tunde, I got ur letter. How is school bla bla bla bla bla...tnx 4 writing. Hope to hear from u again'.

You know, this feeling of a super-fly dude enveloped me completely that day! Yeah! I wished someone had stepped on me that day, I'd prolly have been like "WTF! Hw come u step on me! Don't you know I jst got a letter from a 'chic'?". (Oh! Woe betide my folly. Lol). Wherever I went that day, I took the letter with me and gladly showed some of my friends (some were just like me! They never got one letter! So I was a step ahead. Some of them are prolly reading this right now! Hehehehehe).

Eh! I don't intend to bore you with this long epistle. Read if you can! N if u can't (but I'll be damned if u didn't. How did u get here? Lol), U can choose to keep walking and perhaps along d way, think about how to protect urself and loved ones from the deadly virus, EBOLA! and don't you ever forget to pray for Nigeria! *wink* Y'all have a nice day. #myFGCstory #relishedMoments